Helping My 6-Year-Old Handle Big Feelings: The Calm Down Toolkit That Changed Our Days

Jebrea Hines
Sep 19, 2025
3 min read

Our Struggle with Big Feelings

When my 6-year-old gets in trouble, the anger can come fast and big. He doesn’t always know how to control it — sometimes stomping off, sometimes yelling, sometimes just breaking down in tears. As a mom, I’ve had those moments of feeling unsure of what to do. Do I discipline harder? Do I comfort him? Do I give space?

It wasn’t until I realized that his anger wasn’t bad behavior — it was a big feeling he didn’t know how to manage yet — that things started to shift in our home.

Why Kids Struggle with Anger at Age Six

At 6 years old, kids are learning so much about themselves and the world. Their brains are still developing the part that controls emotions and impulses. That means when they feel mad, sad, or embarrassed, it can be huge and overwhelming.

They also care deeply about fairness, so being corrected or told “no” can feel really intense. Add in limited coping tools, and anger just bursts out. And honestly? That’s normal at this age — but it doesn’t mean we can’t give them better ways to handle it.

My Turning Point: Creating a Calm Down Toolkit

After one particularly tough day, I realized we needed something more than just “time-outs” or constant reminders to behave. I wanted my son to feel empowered to manage his feelings — not just get in trouble for them.

That’s when I created a simple Calm Down Toolkit. It started with a few items we already had around the house, and it grew into something my child now uses on his own when he’s upset. Instead of the meltdown lasting 30 minutes, he can calm himself in 5 or 10.

What’s in Our Calm Down Toolkit

Here’s what worked for us:

Bubbles (to practice slow breathing — blow bubbles, don’t pop them).
A favorite stuffed animal (something safe to hug tight).
Drawing paper & crayons (to get feelings out on paper).
Calm down cards with ideas like count to 10 or stretch like a cat.
A cozy spot (we made a “calm corner” with a soft blanket and pillow).

I also added a simple feelings chart to help him name what he was feeling before he chose a tool.

How You Can Create One at Home

If you want to try this with your child, here’s a step-by-step guide:

Gather calming items (they don’t need to be fancy — even playdough or music works).
Create a safe, cozy space in the house where your child can go.
Practice using the toolkit when your child is calm, not just in the middle of a meltdown.
Stay close by to support, but let them take the lead in choosing what works.

The Difference We’ve Seen

Since we started using the toolkit, the changes have been amazing:

My son feels more in control of his own emotions.
Meltdowns are shorter and less intense.
I feel more equipped as a mom — instead of just reacting, I’m teaching.

Most importantly, it’s helping him build skills he’ll carry for life.

Free Printable: My Calm Down Toolkit

Because this has worked so well for us, I created a printable Calm Down Toolkit Pack you can use at home. It includes:

A feelings chart,
Calm down choice cards,
A “safe space” page your child can personalize,
And tips for parents.

👉🏾[Download it here]

Final Thoughts

Parenting through big feelings isn’t easy. There are still days when the anger comes quick, and I have to remind myself to stay calm too. But every time my son chooses a calm down tool instead of a meltdown, I see progress.

If your child struggles with big emotions, know you’re not alone — and with a little patience (and the right tools), calmer days really are possible. 💛